so much writing

I've been writing more than usual again. I just find myself needing to work things out, rationally, and how else do I do that but writing? It's good to write, read and re-read events to make sure you're on the right track. It's so easy to get distracted especially when emotions get involved.

so, with that said...

I've been more of a hermit lately than normal. There was a point in my life, not too long ago, where I did was go out. I'd do drinking with my 'friends' til 2 a.m. and then go to work the next day. I seldom made it to the gym any longer and found myself gaining weight at a rapid pace.
I'd try to go running, but it's hard when you're not in shape, and besides 2 days a week hardly does anything, in fact, it just keeps you at your same status. (guess that's better than getting worse)

I started dating this kid and he NEVER had any money and this lead to me NOT going out anymore like I used to. Not to mention, he really didn't click with my 'friends'. He'd made a few comments about my weight and life any normal person, I took them quite personally. How could I not?

It wasn't at all acceptable, but I have to thank him. If it wasn't for him I'm not sure I would have been so gun-ho on getting back in shape so quickly. It was easy to do too cuz I'd pretty much stopped going out all together.

So I started an amazing diet, stopped going out 100% for 4 weeks solid, and hit the gym 4-5 days/week. So far I've lost 17 lbs. I look amazing, feel amazing and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I've got a hold on life. I'm not poisoned with drugs or alcohol. There's no veil over my head and I feel happy and whole again.

I started dating this amazing man who loves going to the gym with me. It's such a great thing being with someone who is just as aware of being healthy as I am. Not anorexic or competitive with me, just wants to live as long as possible and to the fullest. It's really been a breath of fresh air.

Like any normal person, I have my insecurities and that lil voice in my head sometimes can get away with me and I that's when this writing stuff comes in handy. It's a good way to remind myself what's important, what battles to pick and what to let go of.

So there it is. A very small version of what seems very big to me, after all, it's my life, my head, my thoughts....