I really am, but what's new? I think I'm cool with something, but I'm not. Not one bit.
Moving on. I've decided to train for a triathlon with my friend Amie. I am really excited. I need to stay focused. Fuck him, fuck her and fuck all the rest of it.
School is important. My health is important, both physically and mentally...
Work is important and all the rest is pointless bullshit.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
predictions and more
well just as Corey had predicted, she has no idea about us. I'm very surprised though, after all there are pics of us up on both our facebooks, but it just goes to show you how right he really is about her. She is incredibly SELF ABSORBED.
And also as he predicted, she talked non-stop about herself, never really asked me anything and then in the last 10 min, she repeated everything she'd rambled on about, but summed it up. Oh, and I loved the part where she tried telling me that he's still mad that she decided not to wait for him. So dumb. It took everything in power not to say to her, 'dude! He's SO over you and has been for MONTHS. Not only did he start dating Katie about a month after you stopped stalking him, but we've been seeing each other for almost the past month... so get over yourself. GOD!
Never once did she acknowledge the fact that I was even really there. She just wanted to talk about her, her work, her new guy, her past guy, Jacksonhole, skiing, blah blah blah. Oh and let's not forget how she bragged about how much whiskey she's been drinking, this hangover and that hangover and blah blah blah. So LAME!
I'll tell you what! I don't miss that shit at all.
The gym was good, short but good. Did 35 min of cardio followed by about 25 min of core and abs. I'm used to do a lot more than that, but it'll do for today.
Lunch with Amie was amazing. God I've missed her. We laughed so much!! Can't wait for Mexico in March. And I have something else to look forward to, a triathlon. woot, woot!!
people come, people go, but true friends, real friends are there for a lifetime no matter how much distance is between you or how much time you spend. I am just so grateful for my life:)
And also as he predicted, she talked non-stop about herself, never really asked me anything and then in the last 10 min, she repeated everything she'd rambled on about, but summed it up. Oh, and I loved the part where she tried telling me that he's still mad that she decided not to wait for him. So dumb. It took everything in power not to say to her, 'dude! He's SO over you and has been for MONTHS. Not only did he start dating Katie about a month after you stopped stalking him, but we've been seeing each other for almost the past month... so get over yourself. GOD!
Never once did she acknowledge the fact that I was even really there. She just wanted to talk about her, her work, her new guy, her past guy, Jacksonhole, skiing, blah blah blah. Oh and let's not forget how she bragged about how much whiskey she's been drinking, this hangover and that hangover and blah blah blah. So LAME!
I'll tell you what! I don't miss that shit at all.
The gym was good, short but good. Did 35 min of cardio followed by about 25 min of core and abs. I'm used to do a lot more than that, but it'll do for today.
Lunch with Amie was amazing. God I've missed her. We laughed so much!! Can't wait for Mexico in March. And I have something else to look forward to, a triathlon. woot, woot!!
people come, people go, but true friends, real friends are there for a lifetime no matter how much distance is between you or how much time you spend. I am just so grateful for my life:)
Monday, January 26, 2009
facing the facts
ok, so here it is. I've never claimed to be a perfect human being, but who is? I do my best though. I go to school, work, pay my bills, etc. But when it comes to matters of the heart I tend to...well, do what I want....
Basically, I started a man that used to date a friend. His version is very different than hers, and based on her side of things and past conversations, I do believe his. I remember telling her on numerous occasions, 'honey, it's time to let it go. He's no into you'. But she never listened and according to him, she pretty much stalked him for about 3-4 months after he told her it was over. Anyways, details are WAY too much to get into.
Moving forward... We ran into each other at a bar that we all love to go to. She was out of town or something, he was there alone. I saw him and we started talking up a storm. I'd just broke up with, yet another boyfriend. (yeah, I've dated a few guys since Jason and I broke up). And he went OFF about him and 'sukra' and how that all went down, blah blah blah.
Yeah... we left together. And Yes, we slept together. And Yes, I thought it was just going to be a one night stand (my first one!!!). Since we were kind of friends before that happened, we ended up chatting here and there and just stayed in touch, but nothing romantic at all. I had another new boyfriend and he was dating a girl quite seriously too. So it was completely harmless.
As fate would have it, after he came back from Boston we started going to the gym together almost everyday and one night we had drinks. I'm sure you can imagine what took place next. But here's the thing, it's more than that now. It's been going on now for about 3 weeks. We hit the gym all the time, which is totally cool!, and we hang out several times throughout the week. We've established that we are sleeping together monogamously, and that we really like each other.
So, with that said... it bring me to the 'truth'. It's time to tell her. Everyone else knows, meaning mutual friends. We haven't exactly tried to keep in on the DL for the past lil while and I'm sure she's seen my car parked in front of his house more than once in the last lil while. Not to mention the pics he posted of us on my facebook and his....
AHHH!! I am not a terrible person. It just happened. But what do I say? She thinks she was in love with him. And he HATES her!!! and I really like him and he really likes me!!!
SHIT!
Basically, I started a man that used to date a friend. His version is very different than hers, and based on her side of things and past conversations, I do believe his. I remember telling her on numerous occasions, 'honey, it's time to let it go. He's no into you'. But she never listened and according to him, she pretty much stalked him for about 3-4 months after he told her it was over. Anyways, details are WAY too much to get into.
Moving forward... We ran into each other at a bar that we all love to go to. She was out of town or something, he was there alone. I saw him and we started talking up a storm. I'd just broke up with, yet another boyfriend. (yeah, I've dated a few guys since Jason and I broke up). And he went OFF about him and 'sukra' and how that all went down, blah blah blah.
Yeah... we left together. And Yes, we slept together. And Yes, I thought it was just going to be a one night stand (my first one!!!). Since we were kind of friends before that happened, we ended up chatting here and there and just stayed in touch, but nothing romantic at all. I had another new boyfriend and he was dating a girl quite seriously too. So it was completely harmless.
As fate would have it, after he came back from Boston we started going to the gym together almost everyday and one night we had drinks. I'm sure you can imagine what took place next. But here's the thing, it's more than that now. It's been going on now for about 3 weeks. We hit the gym all the time, which is totally cool!, and we hang out several times throughout the week. We've established that we are sleeping together monogamously, and that we really like each other.
So, with that said... it bring me to the 'truth'. It's time to tell her. Everyone else knows, meaning mutual friends. We haven't exactly tried to keep in on the DL for the past lil while and I'm sure she's seen my car parked in front of his house more than once in the last lil while. Not to mention the pics he posted of us on my facebook and his....
AHHH!! I am not a terrible person. It just happened. But what do I say? She thinks she was in love with him. And he HATES her!!! and I really like him and he really likes me!!!
SHIT!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
so much writing
I've been writing more than usual again. I just find myself needing to work things out, rationally, and how else do I do that but writing? It's good to write, read and re-read events to make sure you're on the right track. It's so easy to get distracted especially when emotions get involved.
so, with that said...
I've been more of a hermit lately than normal. There was a point in my life, not too long ago, where I did was go out. I'd do drinking with my 'friends' til 2 a.m. and then go to work the next day. I seldom made it to the gym any longer and found myself gaining weight at a rapid pace.
I'd try to go running, but it's hard when you're not in shape, and besides 2 days a week hardly does anything, in fact, it just keeps you at your same status. (guess that's better than getting worse)
I started dating this kid and he NEVER had any money and this lead to me NOT going out anymore like I used to. Not to mention, he really didn't click with my 'friends'. He'd made a few comments about my weight and life any normal person, I took them quite personally. How could I not?
It wasn't at all acceptable, but I have to thank him. If it wasn't for him I'm not sure I would have been so gun-ho on getting back in shape so quickly. It was easy to do too cuz I'd pretty much stopped going out all together.
So I started an amazing diet, stopped going out 100% for 4 weeks solid, and hit the gym 4-5 days/week. So far I've lost 17 lbs. I look amazing, feel amazing and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I've got a hold on life. I'm not poisoned with drugs or alcohol. There's no veil over my head and I feel happy and whole again.
I started dating this amazing man who loves going to the gym with me. It's such a great thing being with someone who is just as aware of being healthy as I am. Not anorexic or competitive with me, just wants to live as long as possible and to the fullest. It's really been a breath of fresh air.
Like any normal person, I have my insecurities and that lil voice in my head sometimes can get away with me and I that's when this writing stuff comes in handy. It's a good way to remind myself what's important, what battles to pick and what to let go of.
So there it is. A very small version of what seems very big to me, after all, it's my life, my head, my thoughts....
so, with that said...
I've been more of a hermit lately than normal. There was a point in my life, not too long ago, where I did was go out. I'd do drinking with my 'friends' til 2 a.m. and then go to work the next day. I seldom made it to the gym any longer and found myself gaining weight at a rapid pace.
I'd try to go running, but it's hard when you're not in shape, and besides 2 days a week hardly does anything, in fact, it just keeps you at your same status. (guess that's better than getting worse)
I started dating this kid and he NEVER had any money and this lead to me NOT going out anymore like I used to. Not to mention, he really didn't click with my 'friends'. He'd made a few comments about my weight and life any normal person, I took them quite personally. How could I not?
It wasn't at all acceptable, but I have to thank him. If it wasn't for him I'm not sure I would have been so gun-ho on getting back in shape so quickly. It was easy to do too cuz I'd pretty much stopped going out all together.
So I started an amazing diet, stopped going out 100% for 4 weeks solid, and hit the gym 4-5 days/week. So far I've lost 17 lbs. I look amazing, feel amazing and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I've got a hold on life. I'm not poisoned with drugs or alcohol. There's no veil over my head and I feel happy and whole again.
I started dating this amazing man who loves going to the gym with me. It's such a great thing being with someone who is just as aware of being healthy as I am. Not anorexic or competitive with me, just wants to live as long as possible and to the fullest. It's really been a breath of fresh air.
Like any normal person, I have my insecurities and that lil voice in my head sometimes can get away with me and I that's when this writing stuff comes in handy. It's a good way to remind myself what's important, what battles to pick and what to let go of.
So there it is. A very small version of what seems very big to me, after all, it's my life, my head, my thoughts....
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