open doors

I applied for an amazing position at my work and GOT IT! What does this mean? I will be moving in the next 8-12 months. I'm not sure as of where yet, but most likely somewhere on the East coast, preferably FL.
I am going to have my very own store, my very own Buckle. The only 2 companies in all of the U.S. that stock is rising/in the positive are the Buckle and Walmart... So I guess you could say, I'm pretty damn lucky!
My training officially starts April 1 and I must be around for all the seasons. Spring, Back to School, Holiday and Inventory. I am SO excited.
I figure why not? I'm 29 years old. Never lived anywhere but SL,UT. I'm still single and have no potentials here to stay for. Can finish school anywhere in the U.S. and if all else fails (and it won't) I can always move back here if it doesn't work out... (But It Will)

I have my first race April 18, second race in May, my first REAL race, the Ragnar on June 19-20, the Provo Half in Aug and last, but not least, the XTreme Duathlon on September 25!!
I am SO excited!!

So, no... I may not have EVERYTHING I want at this point, but ya know what?!?!? I've got a lot of other fantastic things going for me. And I like to focus on that:)

I got it!!

I got the position at my work!! What does this mean?.... Well pretty much it means AWESOMENESS!!
I will be making a grip-load of $$$, and best of all be moving out of state within the year, basically right after inventory of next year, so like February. I've never done anything SO daring before in my life. It feels so amazing. I am so nervous and excited....
I just figure why not? It's not like I'm really tied down to anything here right now.
I'm not married.
I can take classes from any community college in any state I want at any time.
I don't have any kids.
I have nothing holding me back...
Sure I'll miss my Mom a SHIT TON, but she can come visit me and vice vs. So I'm not THAT worried about it. More than anything I think it'll do me a world of good.
I'm going to be 30 next year. It's time to get with the program. I'm sick of working dead-end jobs, that I hate. I know that one day I'll own my own boutique, just not now. And yes, I will finish my bachelors degree, but it's gonna have be put on hold for a blink.
This is a GOOD move for my future. It's stable, smart and in my best interest to take.

I know I'm doing the right thing:)

As far as other things in my life are concerned, I'm just straight up confused.
A little sad, another one is gonna be biting the dust. Geesh....
Oh well, what can I do? I just have bad taste in men I suppose. But on a side note, at least I have fun while the fun is there to be had:)

epiphany

I consider myself I fairly logical person. True I am often initially driven by my emotions, but when given a chance to breath and think, I can typically turn off the emotions and move forward, make the correct decision and not second guess myself.
This is all true except when alcohol is involved.
I didn't drink for a month and a half. Not one drop. NOTHING, NADA! and I NEVER felt better. I lost a shit ton of weight, got back to the gym 5 days a week and reconnected with TRUE relationships that have meaning and substance.
Well, I fell off that wagon a bit. I started drinking once a week. I instantly felt and saw the results of this awful decision.
I was no longer as impeccable to my word. I started letting myself down and made poor decisions. My soul was YELLING at me, but I wouldn't listen. That was until this week.
I had the MOST amazing birthday a girl could ask for.
I got a B+ on my mid-term, hit the gym with my best friend Stacey (90 min fat burn, abs and core) went and got my brows and box waxed, had a 2 hr massage and then met my closest friends for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Mazza.
Then I met up with Ardy at my house and all my BEST friends and I went to Park City. Doesn't get any better than this, right? But then the booze ensued and you can only imagine what may have happened after that.
NO one had their feelings hurt, thank god, but things were said that shouldn't have been. Actions were made that probably shouldn't have been, and as a result I felt SICK inside all the next day.
My soul was YELLING at me again. And I had a break down.
I went to my Mom's to spend time with her and it was a mess. So many interruptions, and that resulted in me losing my shit.
I couldn't stop crying. I was sick. Sick inside and out and I couldn't calm down. I haven't felt that out of control in months, maybe even a year. I was NOT myself.

I made a pact right then and there. NO more of this shit. NO more.
It's one thing to have a glass of wine with dinner, it's another to have a bottle (to yourself). And the result it terrible. It's not worth it.
I forgive myself for what happened. What was said. I have to, there's no turning back. No 'do-overs'.

so moving forward, I have a few promises I've made to myself that I will NOT break.
1. Be impeccable to my word.
2. Buying my bike next week, even if it means getting a loan from the bank.
3. Registering for all 3 races with my next paycheck.
4. No more booze.
5. continuation with my health. 5 days/week at gym.
6. Thinking positive thoughts. loving myself more. appreciating the little things more.
7. taking at least 2 vacations this year. One to Boston with my family, the other somewhere warm with Amie.
8. MT program at work, moving out of state in 14 months.
9. finish my degree in both marketing and fashion.
10. Stay true to myself, listen to my soul before it starts YELLING again, and be respectful to myself, my mind, body and soul at all times.

I know the heart of life is good. I know its good.

its my day

I am SO excited for today. This is the first day of the last year I get to say 'twenty-something-. I have my entire day planned out and can't wait.
School at 9. It's my mid-term test today and I feel pretty damn good about it.
Gym @ 11 with Stace. Gonna run 2.5-3 miles today and do some other cardio, core and abs.
1:15 wax. 2:30 Breath Day Spa appt that includes an hour Swedish massage and a Desert Heat Wrap. (my favs)
Dinner with my closest friends at one my favorite restaurants in all of SLC.
Bacchus with my man friend and my 2 bestest friends in the whole wide world after that:)

And tomorrow:
Man friend and I will be going to art exhibits, shopping, foodies, movies and the fabric store.
I pretty much have the BEST life EVER right now.

Ahhh. Serenity. Peace and Clarity. Feels just about right.